If There's One

If there's one thing I really hate
It's monosodium glutamate
If there's one thing I really love
It's no holes in an oven glove
If there's one thing that makes me sick
It's over-loud shouts of "Fetch the stick"
If there's one thing I can't abide
It's people who tell me to "ride the tide"
If there's one thing that boils my blood
It's brand new trainers caked in mud
If there's one thing that gets my goat
It's an itchy nose and a runny throat
There's one thing that lights my fuse
Despressing stories on the news
If there's one thing that really galls
It's Super-Hyper Shopping Malls
If there's one thing that makes me mad
It's everything that's labelled "fad"
But the biggest thing to shake my tree
Is moaning, wingeing gits  - like me.