Caveat EmptorThere once was a teacher of LatinWho broke every chair that he sat inIt wasn't his MassOr the size of his (cl)assBut the D.I.Y. packs they came flat in
Mist To The GrillThere once was Othello named WillWho excelled with the ink and the quillHe loved losing laboursDid Hamlet no favoursAnd wordplay was mist to his grill
A Moving PointThere once was a mathematicianWhose notations were out of position"I'm all for removingThose points that are moving"He said "..when they have no permission"
Let There Be QuarkThere once was a nuclear physicianBeset with a curious missionOn igniting a sparkHe said "Let there be quark"Then encored with fusion and fission
The Gibbonous Fifth And SixthThe Gibbonous Fifth And SixthFrom the depths of his rumblingsHe sang meaningless mumblingsThat were meant to placate and consoleAs an aid to relaxingHe would watch the moon waxingFrom the base of a very deep holeSome sought to chide himThey'd jeer and deride himFor they knew not for what nor for whyThe Gibbonous Troth would stand in a holeAnd stare up at the moon in the sky.
Recalcitrant AppleRecalcitrant AppleA recalcitrant appleBy way of a jokeDecided one dayIts devourer to chokeWith the sign-post "Eso-fag-us" *Blatantly nearIt chose to avoid itAnd followed "Track-ear" **The unfortunate outcomeI am sure you surmiseWas the greedy devourers'Untimely demiseThere should be a moralSo, after reflectionIt's "Never let applesDecide on direction"* Eso-fag-us = Esophagus = Oesophagus = the bodys food pipe** Track-ear = Trachea = the bodys air / wind pipe
Tea-bag And A CrustLeave me in the morningIf you mustJust leave meWith a tea-bagAnd a crustI've been there on the dole* someSo just leave me feeling wholesomeLeave meWith a tea-bag........and a crustLeave me feeling oldIf you mustLeave me as I crumble into dustLeave me as I stutterAs I mumble and I mutterJust leave meWith a tea-bag........and a crustLeave me with dementiaIf you mustLeave me with a blood vesselTo bustLeave me with the glimmerOf moonlight on me ZimmerJust leave meWith a tea-bag........and a crustLeave me by the road-sideIf you mustI'd hate to be a burdenIf you're rushedWhen I think I'm levitatingOn the tablets that I'm takingJust leave meWith a tea-bag........and a crustLeave me in a wardIf you mustAn 'end-of-life' rewardIf you mustLeave me bald and out of touch(I've never asked for much)So leave meWith a tea-bag........and a crustLeave me in a coffinIf you mustI sneeze too muchOn Crematory dustWith the flora and the faunaAnd the solitary m