Hetty KettThere was a strange man from MilwaukeeWho, in order to better his walk, hePlaced books on his headWore stilettos in bedWhat a very strange man from Milwaukee
The Killer Birds Of PenangThere was a poor girl from PenangWho charmed birds from the trees when she sangIt's worthwhile narratingThe birds were migratingAnd smothered the girl from Penang
The Chum's BucketA thirty year old from NantucketLived all of his life in a bucketThough food was thrown inHe sat haggard and thinIn his meat-filled but cooker-less bucket
P's In A PequodFor adventure and wealth, IshmaelOn "The Pequod" he ventured to sailBut Ahab forsworeTo scour oceans forHis nemesis, tormenter, The Whale
Taipei SwayThere once was a man from TaipeiWhose tower did nothing but sway"On balance" he thought"A sphere really oughtTo outweigh all the stray sway away"
Shortys LuminentThere once was a colour called "Red"Who said "Wavelengths are all in the headIf I were much shorterMy waves so much tauterYou'd be conversing with Green here, instead"
It's Turtles All The Way DownThe Quark and the Jaguar and Schroedingers CatSat side by side on an Earth that was flatThey knew it was so, for they had been toldThat all of creation was held in the foldOf an Elephants skin who stood on the backOf a Turtle so old, his shell had turned blackAnd his eyes and his spots were stars out in SpaceAnd out in this Space by a yellowish dotIn relative cold, so relative hotWas the Life of Creation that burned on the backOf the Quark and the Jaguar and Schroedingers Cat
Neath ThiefThere was an old vicar of NeathWho once caught, red-handed, a thiefBut the thief he was cleverHe said "No, not me, never...I was cleaning it all for The Chief"
Fire WireThere once was a young funambulistWho performed his brave act with a twistWhile walking the wireHe set it on fireHe was never an old funambulist